/ot/ - Off-Topic

My confession is that I'm not even into gay sex anymore really, I just enjoy watching men get brutalized in any manner, not necessarily sexually. I feel like I've lost my trujoshi card.

Fujoshi scorn me but I'm too BL aligned for discussing media with non fujoshi. Frankly I never called myself as one I just enjoy male relationships more.
I prefer hate over love.
I need high stakes plot to see characters thoughts and actions and see what they are ready to sacrifice for their obsession. That's why I couldn't bond with official BL media besides danmei genre.

I wish I was brave enough to go to conventions to try to talk and meet other fujos. I haven't been to one since I was a teenager and even though I know the feeling has likely changed a lot, it seems like fun. I'm really anxious and stopped using social media years ago due to all the retarded pro / anti stuff colliding with my OCD themes like crazy, so I don't really have an outlet to talk to people like that anymore. I do have a friend who's also a fujo, but some things we don't share interests in and it would be nice to find someone else also into them.