No.12901[Reply]
So, right now I am dating a guy. I wanted an outside perspective because I don't want to talk to friends and have them see things wrong. I think you guys would have a better perspective as unbiased strangers. He and I have been dating for a year now, and he's generally been very sweet. He never insults me and always uplifts me as being bright and pretty (I'm generally very insecure so I never believe it, but it's still nice of him). He's funny, smart, and usually calm.
However, recently he's been very strange. The earliest strangeness I can remember is that I was standing on the balcony and a deliveryman walked by and I said "Hey, hope your day is going okay" and the deliveryman thanked me and continued on. My boyfriend was also standing there and when the guy walked off, he grabbed me by my crotch (which was kind of painful, but I know he was doing it jokingly) and looked annoyed. I asked him if it was because I said hi to the deliveryman, and he said no. Okay.
I had a night class, and early on a male student offered to walk me to my car and I let him. The student was at least five years younger and probably gay, but from then on my boyfriend insisted on dropping me off and picking me up to look after me.
Moving on, some time later we went to one of my favorite stores and I showed him around. Earlier I had stopped by alone to see if they were hiring, and introduced myself to the young cashier guy. I've applied a bunch over the years with them and usually it was old men working, so when my boyfriend asked about it I told him it was mostly old men. When we went, the worker remembered my name and I remembered his and asked about the application. When we left, my boyfriend accused me of flirting and then we had an argument. I wasn't flirting, all I did was behave politely and smile. But, he says even just being nice is flirting.
15 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view. No.12928
>>12922Have you actually been in a relationship with a gap? My husband and I started dating when I was 23 and he was 31. If you're not a teenager and he's not a 60 year old pervert then once you're an adult the age difference literally doesn't matter, the issue here is specifically the man.
>>12913>If this is the level of trust (something foundational in a relationship) after just one year of being nice, how might things be in five years? Ten? If you're together for life? This if you don't see it getting better and already feel overwhelmed don't put yourself through it.
No.12929
>>12928Also to add on to this, you should NEVER keep a relationship going assuming the man is going to change for the better, in the same way you should never assume that things are always going to be perfect in a good relationship. Rough patches exist but the core of the person doesn't.
No.13009
>>12928>My husband and I started dating when I was 23 and he was 31.How long have you two been married?
Anyway, OP here. I think I will break up with him. I just don't really know how to go about it without him getting incredibly upset. I dated my last boyfriend for years because every time I tried to leave he'd become inconsolable. I know that I'm a weak-willed person, ultimately. It really sucks with traits that are that deeply ingrained. A few more things have happened recently and every time I try to work out an issue he jokes that I'm going to leave him. It's very draining.